A REET GRADELY DO.
by
S. HARROP (VI.I)
Ther' wer' a reet gradely match at t' schoo' fielt t' other day;
Wi' St. --------- Grammar air fust team made 'ay,
Ther' wer' fouls an' free kicks an' bounce-ups an' a'
An' yeads wer' staved in, in t' scramble fer t' ba'.
Hulock wer' linin', complete wi' a flag –
'e could a' done better wi' 'is yead in a bag –
'e run up and down t'line like a mon in a trance,
Till a reet 'efty shot copped 'im full square in t' pants.
Full-back Nipper Kay wer' bargin' about,
Kickin' at t' ba' an' kickin' at nowt;
Runnin', an' tacklin', an' puncin' like mad,
'e nearly kilt three, so e' didn't do bad.
e' wer' a' o'er t' fielt, beatin' up a' who come,
An' ba's bainced of 'is yead like peas off a drum;
'e thundered downt' fielt like a blinkin' 'ippo;
Ay, e' fair gi 'em beans, did Cannonball Joe.
Lud wer' on' wing like a cat on 'ot bricks
Till t' ba' reet in t' clock nearly knocked 'im fer six
'e wer' moanin' an groanin' an staggerin' about
Till t' groundsmon revived 'im wi' a thunderin' great clout.
An' Ingham an' 'esketh an Grundy, an a'
Did a' kinds o' tricks – 'cept swaller t'ba'.
They feinted to t'left, they feinted to t'reet,
An' punced owt what come in t' road o' the'r whackin' great feet.
Fer full ninety minutes they a' played like steam,
An' when t' whistle went they come off t'winnin' team
Lud lost three teeth – Joe Kay lost 'is shoe,
An' 'ull lorst 'is reason-but that wer' nowt new.
Grundy an' Cooke wer' wheelt off dead beat,
An' Hulock were moanin' an' rubbin' 'is seat.
But they 'ad the'r reward – an' extra tay-leaf in t' brew!
Ay, tha' should a bin theer, 'twer' a reet gradely do!
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